Bush pimpslaps Dims on gas prices

The Prez today suspended gasoline regulations and stopped the filling of the Strategic Oil Reserves during the summer.

I think this was brilliant. The Dims solution is to destroy innovation in the oil industry with worthless "windfall profits" taxes. Who is to define what a windfall profit is anyway? When did profit become evil? We all know that the high oil prices will lead oil companies to drill more, eventually bringing more petroleum onto the market.

The brilliant part is that he is also pimpslapping the Enviro-Commies that force Americans to add lots of useless additives that have little environmental benefit.

Take that you socialist, tree-hugging, Karl-Marx loving, no armpit shaving idiots.

War for oil...I wish

I agree completely with Frank J.

We need to actually take the oil and kill as many people as possible. We need our SUVs in this country to show our triumph over nature.

Lets just face it, hybrid cars make you gay. As does soccer, hockey, aromatherapy, and watching Seinfeld.

Listen people I don't make up the rules I just arbitrarily enforce them as I see fit.

Supermodel slugs stewardess...men on plane cheer

On a flight from Amsterdam to Miami, supermodel May Andersen slugged a stewardess.

What guy wouldn't like to see a stewardess fight a supermodel? It is right up there with watching a cheerleader and nurse wrestle in peanut oil, or seeing a naughty school girl spanked by the firm but still feminine female principal of an all girls Alpine private boarding school.

Wow I really went to a bad place here didn't I.

And they say house calls are dead

An elderly Florida man has been arrested for giving fake breast exams.

Black bag in hand, Phillip Winikoff went door to door and actually convinced two women that he was a doctor and performed breast exams on them. How stupid are these women?

Police say people grew suspicious when they noticed his bag was full of tissues and that his shirt said F.B.I. (Female Body Inspector).

I deplore his methods, but admire his moxy.

Zimbabwe's economy still in the metaphorical toilet

Oppositions leaders are vowing to die in the effort to bring down the government of Robert Mugabe while the nation crumbles around them.

With run away inflation, school tuition out of control, and the corruption that pervades everything the people of Zimbabwe must have a new government.

Kick Boxing Orangutans...I would watch

The kickboxing orangutan...I want one.

Where do these fascist get off not allowing these animals to assert their right to work and pursue the career they want.

Pass the placenta please

I know everyone will be blogging on this, but I just can't let it go. Tom Cruise has claimed he will eat the placenta from his wife's birth immediately after the child is born.

Ok I will eat some strange things. I have a weakness for chicken gizzards and livers, and I am a big fan of raw fish, but a placenta?

Even Michael Jackson didn't eat the placenta when his crimes against nature were born.

Is Tom lower than Michael?

Dick Cheney: Is he God?

You can beg, you can plead, but eventually Dick Cheney will eat your children.


How can Dick Cheney not be a god when these things are true:

Dick Cheney learned Spanish by sucking Che Gureverra's brain out with a straw

Earth, Wind, and Fire were originally called Earth, Wind, Fire, and Dick Cheney

He pantsed the Lincoln Memorial

William Shatner got his famous stutter after Dick Cheney burned him with a cigarette

Dick Cheney was acquitted of killing Noam Chomsky with a sponge soaked in battery acid

Freemasons don't run the country...Dick Cheney does

He paddled the school canoe...and didn't get a paddling

Dick Cheney's wisdom teeth could talk, but all they did was remind him to live a virtuous life so he had them removed

Tom Clancy's "The Hunt for Red October" was originally titled "Dick Cheney's Hunt for Red October"

Dick Cheney makes an uncredited appeance in the movie American Psycho

He singlehandedly invaded Russia in the Spring of 2004

His time as a rodeo clown was memorialized in the Journey song "Don't Stop Believing"

The only thing more frightening than Dick Cheney is two Dick Cheneys

Dick Cheney was not born...he was grown

His third birthday party devolved into a riot over segregation

In the 60's Cheney drove around in a van solving mysteries with a preppy gay guy, a dumpy lesbian, a hot chick, and a heard of fainting goats

He smokes 8 cartons a day...of hams

He began his career as a moil, but was forced to stop after circumcising a child with a live piranha

Hey I thought homophobia was an American institution

Jamaica, the island in the sun, is apparently the most homophobic place on earth.


Notice in the article how Time, always the bastion of fairness, seems to place some of the blame on Christianity. Could the problem also be just a simple outgrowth of Third World barbarism?

You would think that Jamaica would be a friendly place. All that weed should make you mellow.

Crimes against homosexuals are not merely limited to local gays and lesbians. Homophobia is rampant throughout the Caribbean. Last week two producers from CBS were attacked by an anti-gay lynch mob in St. Martin and one is still in ICU in Miami.

This, along with the Natale Holloway story, should remind Americans not to travel to countries that are not civilized.

For a full list of these countries email me and it shall be provided.

A great argument for the death penalty

Its name is Kevin Underwood of Purcell Oklahoma.

This animal (he does not deserve the honor of being called or treated as human) raped, murdered, and planned to cannibalize the body of a 10 year old girl.

Police reports note that the injuries on the body betrayed a "serious attempt to cut the head off the body."

Prosecutors are going to seek the death penalty. This savages deserves it.

Movie review from your humble WordBearer

Tonight I went and saw Thank You for Smoking

All I can say is that it was one of the best films I have seen this year. It skewered everyone nice and proper and showed how many in the anti-smoking camp, or Smoke Nazis, are just as willing to profit off the suffering of their fellow humans as the Big Tobacco.

I would recommend it to anyone over 18 with half a brain...which excludes all you liberals.

Patti Davis: Sudan genocide wrong, Saddam's cool

Patti Davis, the woman not good enough to deserve the name of Reagan, potificates over at Newsweek about the world and shows her idiocy.

She worries about the genocide in Darfur, but decries the overthrow of Saddam. I guess the genocide he perpetrated against the Kurds, marsh Arabs, and Shias doesn't count in her book.

Tell me why this woman warrants anyones attention anymore. She was on the side of evil during the Cold War (tried to talk her father into arms controls and a nuclear freeze) and she is on the side of evil today.

This weekend we need to reflect on how the world has changed and how we can make it a better place. Liberating those who are being oppressed by the Third World savages masquerading as leaders that Patti and those on the Left exalt.

Shoot Sheehan update

Cindy Sheehan has been confronted by a war widow for her attacks on our troops.

One day we will get to execute this worthless, ugly, and wrong woman. Treason should be punished.

Neil Young: Impeach the President, save my career

Neil Young has recorded a virulent anti-Bush song entitled "Impeach the President."

Members of my generation were heard to ask: "Who the hell is Neil Young?"

Apparently Mr. Young is so desperate for a comeback that he has taken the easy road. Ever since Bush was elected a gaggle of failed sellouts have cut anti-Bush/Republican/Red State tracks in desperate attempts to revive their careers. Such examples are Burt Backarach and Green Day.

All you need to get air time these days is to write a pro-terrorist song and you will be hailed as the new John Lennon and be awarded more Grammys than you can carry.

The pompous self-importance of those in the entertainment industry still astounds me.

Alec Baldwin, Head of the Film Actors Guild or F.A.G., has hailed the song as a "slap to the face of our imperial president." He went on to predict that more F.A.G.S. will come out with even greater rebukes of American foreign policy.

Update: Neil is cutting an entire anti-Bush album.

What a douche.

Warning Explicit content.

Ok this movie is a little blue, but it is just so funny that I can't let it go unnoticed. Only click the link if you can stomach it. There is no nudity, but it is funny.

An awkward situation caught on tape.


The WordBearer warned you.

You know the cheese, now see the beef

Switzerland is using the allure of its hunks to attract soccer widows to its resorts and spas.

They hope that the World Cup widows and their money will find their way into the local economy.

I think that these women should go after these Swiss hunks because their husbands will be useless after the World Cup because, as we all know, soccer makes you gay.

...and a pornstar will lead them

Italian porn star Cicciolina has offered herself to Osama Bin Laden in exchange for an end to his terrorist ways. (Is is just me or does she look like a dude?)

The offer is a repeat of one she made in the 90's to Saddam Hussein.

I'm speechless. I guess this is the ultimate "Make Love Not War" statement.

Ben, song, and the tragedy of the aquarium

Ben Affleck has accused President Bush of treason, claims that he leaked Valarie Plame's name, and claims Bush could be 'hung'.

That is awful big talk for the man responsible for Gigli. I think if the American people were polled, at least a plurality would hang Ben over Bush.

Treason...give me a break. I have two words for you Ben: Jersey Girl. Nough said.

To get back to a happy place watch these things and thank the WordBearer for his love:

Mom I broke the aquarium while weightlifting...again.

Hey I'm not the only one to break into song in class It takes huge balls to do something like this.

The water balloon fight turns into a moment of revelation

Science of Socialism undone by science

It turns out the the "science" of socialism has been countered by actual science.

German scientists conducted a study finding that humans do not like freeloaders.

Groups which could punish those who freeloaded did and the researchers found that " institutions able to police themselves foster cooperation between their members and out-compete institutions that let freeloaders go unpunished, the scientists say."

Quoting the Ox: "Duh"

The Greatest Video ever

Well not really, but a monkey and dog playing is something that will always get me laughing.

Let me explain a little something about the WordBearer that fits in well with this video. There are four, count them four things that the WordBearer needs in this world and has yet to acquire:

1. A meaningful relationship with a woman. The WordBearer wants to find a woman that he can love for life; someone I would gladly lay down my life for. I want someone who frightens the hell out of me and drives me on to be a better man. I need a woman who can tame my nature and make me feel whole. Lastly, I want a woman who will love me for what I am and who can see past all my glaring flaws and homely visage.

2. A monkey. What guy doesn't want a monkey? They are simply natures little punchline.

3. A midget. Midgets are so cute. Who wouldn't want to have a midget friend. You can tie them up and force them to lead you to their pot of gold. You could dress them in leprechaun outfits and have that perfect accessory for St. Patrick's Day.

I have always wanted to give a midget a piggy back ride. Maybe I could even do the impossible: give a midget a piggy back ride while he gives the monkey a piggy back ride.

4. A gay friend to tell me how to dress. Every straight guy needs a gay friend to tell him how women think, what type of shoes to wear, and why Will and Grace is funny. I was 21 years old before I was told that your shoes and belt were supposed to match. I'm completely unaware of what a pillow sham is used for.

One day...one day...one day Alice.

Tom DeLay: Mere man or a god among us?

As many of you know, your humble WordBearer has an unnatural obsession with Dick Cheney. Yet I have noticed that Tome DeLay, former House Majority Leader and one of my personal hero's, is every bit as spectacular as VP Cheney. Here are some things I know about Tom DeLay.

The Commies surrendered because Tom DeLay told them to

He once gave Harry Reid a wedgie

Tom DeLay once spanked Castro with a riding crop

Tom DeLay originally stared in the movie "Apopcalypse Now". He was edited out after he killed three actors with a nickel

He earned the nickname "The Hammer" after a drinking bout with Ted Kennedy

While in the Texas House he agitated for war with Tonga

The shockwave from his golf swing once decimated an Al Qaida basecamp

He wrote the Johnny Cash song "Cocaine Blues" after a late night meeting with Bill Clinton

Tom DeLay's childhood finger paintings were the basis for the movie "I Know What you Did Last Summer"

He once told Cynthia McKinney to "shave her phroe"

Like a male seahorse he can give birth to live young

Tom DeLay once pulled off Chris Mathew's toupe

The resurgence of Leftism in Latin America continues

It seems that Peru will be the next nation in Latin America to elect an anti-American Leftist.

Running on the slogan of "Peruvians First," Ollanta Humala promised to crack down on multinational corporations and aline Peru with Hugo Chavez's Venezuela.

There is a block of states to our south that are slowly forming an anti-American bloc that will one be a threat to the interests of the United States. I hope someone in Washington is paying attention, but they are all preoccupied with NSA surveillance and whether or not the military refused a Gitmo detainee's request for a Swedish massage.

Castro, Hugo, Morales, and now Humala. God help the poor people of Latin America. They are about to become poorer.

Saturday Night Fever

I think I need a shot for that.

Well once again the weekend is upon us all. While normal people are out having a good time, your humble WordBearer is writing papers and slaving away for "the man" (also known as the Dumb Ox).

My love life is in the same state it has been in for a year and a half... dead like Osama Bin Laden. (He is dead no matter what Chucky "Cheese" Schumer claims).

Here is an interesting short documentary: Supersize Me...with Whisky

It is an interesting take on the documentary made by that fruity little commie Morgan Spurlock. Perhaps I should undertake the experiment.

Paddle the French Fanny

That is the suggestion of Larry Kudlow over at the National Review.

I think he is wrong...they would probably enjoy a good spanking.

Reminds me of a joke: Q. What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up?
A. The Army.

Mugabe's reign of terror continues

Robert Mugabe's seniors are starving and the world takes little notice.

In Mugabe's Zimbabwe the inflation rate is 1,000%. Ole Robert thinks that the solution is to print more money. Even a cursory knowledge of economics will tell you that this will only exacerbate the situation.

I just can't wait until the CIA kills this guy. I call dibs on his head.

Some fun videos...for your viewing pleasure.

Might be a little offensive, but hey there is no nudity so what more do you want from me?

H-I-T-L-E-R the Video

When Pregnancy Tests go Wrong


Enjoy you sick freaks.

South Park of the Border

I have so far stayed out of the Isaac Hayes South Park affair, but being a serious fan of the show I can't let this pass.

Bridget Johnson over at GOP Vixen has a great column on the matter.

I especially like the fact that they are taking on Scientology. L. Ron Hubbard wrote bad science fiction, yet I am suppossed to believe that he found the way to enlightenment? It is just another way for bored celebs to throw away the money they did not earn and feel superior to those of us in the interior.

I hope Parker and Stone will stay around to slay the multifaceted Hydra that is Hollywood hypocrisy.

Feel the power of Dick Cheney

In my ongoing quest to enlighten all of you in regards to the greatness of the demigod Dick Cheney, I realized that I have left out some pivotal facts about the old Dick.


He can walk on water...because his gaze frightens it solid.

He fathered an illegitimate child with a great white shark

He once took a hand grenade to the face...then walked it off

He hunted down and killed an entire Elk's Lodge without the proper permits.

His idea of foreplay is allowing the Democrats to try to run away before he decapitates them

He uses a pack of wolves for toilet paper

He once ate an entire panda for dinner then had a sperm whale for dessert

His projected childhood fantasies drove Judy Garland to pills and booze.

His middle name is Caspian, they named a sea after him, maybe you heard of it.

He sweats pure gold

He takes the phrase "between a rock and a hard place" literally

His drunken shouts of rage were nominated for a Grammy

Dick Cheney won an Oscar for his portrayal of MechaGodzilla in the all monster production of "Howard's End"

He is regularly depicted in Cro-Magnon cave art as a bringer of rain and sorrow

Dick Cheney made the Depression depressing

Dennys of the Dead

This week alone there have been three, count them three, shootings at California Denny's.


See this is why I always go to Waffle House or IHOP.

Here we are again

Since people seem to respond to my whining more than my humor, I feel it is time for a little more of the former.

Well I am on Spring Break. Guess what I am doing.

Yes you in the back... nope I am not going to the beach.

You in the funny shirt...no I am not going to the mountains.

Last attempt, you with the scar that looks like Angela Lansbury in a bikini...nope I am not attempting to build the robot I so dearly want.

The answer kiddies is that I am doing homework. Yes that is right, homework. Got a few big papers due soon. At least I am not sobbing into a bag of kettle chips.

I'm still a big coward with the ladies. So, much like the Western Front, all is quiet. Who is the biggest loser in the room. The spotlight is on yours truly.

I have never liked spotlights. The times I have had access to them I have been totally unsuccessful in summoning Batman. Plus the Budweiser Frogs still won't return my phone calls.

I need a girlfriend...or a really accommodating hooker.

Scientist discover living "Rat-squirrel"

No it is not Schumer, but the resemblance is striking.

Scientist have discovered living examples of a species believed to be extinct. The small rodent resembles a combination between a rat and a squirrel though it is closer related to the squirrel family.

In a related story, the US has its own "rat-squirrel" infestation.

Ah the Dims, a perfect combination of underhanded rats and spineless squirrel.

It's raining men...I mean aliens

British scientists believe that the "red rain" which fell on Western India in 2001 contains the remnants of alien life.

Apparently the particles from a passing comet entered the atmosphere, mixed with moisture, and rained down on the hapless inhabitants of the subcontinent.

No word yet if they repelled the aliens with tin hats.

Doctors: Force feeding barbaric...abortion is still cool though

A panel of doctors from around the world is demanding that the US end the force feeding of Gitmo detainees who are on a hunger strike.

They are perfectly fine with the idea that the prisoners would starve to death. Of course we all know that if any of these men did starve to death America would immediately be attacked by these same people for our cruelty.

What this really is about is the desire to shut down Gitmo. The West is so absolutist in ist respect for human rights that we are going to allow the Islamic animals that threaten us to destroy them completely.

DeLay won...nah, nah, nah

The NY Times admitted that DeLay won, and from their tone they are not happy.

Notice that they put the word "rigging" in quotation marks.I hate when people put words in quotes.

I believe Leo Strauss described this whole situation quite aptly.


"To put the terms designating such things in quotation marks is a childish trick which enables one to talk of important subjects while denying the principles without which there cannot be important subjects-a trick which is meant to allow one to combine the advantage of common sense with the denial of common sense. Or can one say anything relevant on public opinion polls, for example, without realizing the fact that many answers to the questionnaires are given by unintelligent, uninformed, deceitful, and irrational people, and that not a few questions are formulated by people of the same caliber."

Leo Strauss, Natural Right and History

Chinese Menu

Hat tip to the National Review on this one

Read this and tell me what you would like to order.

Liar Liar pants on fire

Moazzam Begg (no that is not the name of a dish at The Bombay Palace) British citizen, Muslim, and Al Qaeda terrorist has been outed as the lying sack of human waste that he is.

Begg has been on a whirlwind tour of the British media claiming he was an innocent victim of the US war on terror. While pimping his tell-all book about his time in Gitmo and his illicit relations with sheep in the Peshwar, he forgot to mention that the statements he gave the FBI after his capture are starkly contrasted with the claims he makes in the book.

When asked why he was in Afghanistan, Mr. Begg told the FBI that he was there to "fight alongside the Taliban and al-Qa'eda against the US and others".

In his book he claims he was simply their to teach Afghan children. Yeah that makes sense cause we all know how into education the Taliban was.

Al Qaeda operatives are taught to make claims of torture because they know that the Western media is sensitive to such topics.

Once again the barbarians are at the gates and we are arguing over the drapes.

Kirby Puckett RIP

Kirby Puckett, the venerable center for the Minnesota Twins, has gone to that big ballfield in the sky.

As a young man I idolized Puckett. Baseball has always been an important part of my life. The greatest lessons I learned were on the diamond with my friends around me and the smell of freshly mowed grass and red dirt.

It is a truly sad day for all us little boys at heart.

'Hippie' chimp to become extinct

The so called 'hippie' chimp is hurtling toward extinction.

The species derived its nickname by from its propensity to solve problems with sex, smoke alot of weed, flee to Canada at the first sign of danger, and devour its own dung.

I, for one, applaud this turn of events. Now that hippies are all but extinct on Earth, I feel that it is time we get rid of the animals that followed them down the road to perdition.

I call for the eradication of the Hippie snaildarter, Crunchy Brazilian crab, Che-tshirt wearing impala, and all the seagulls who circle the Grateful Dead concerts.

The possibility for a hippie free world is upon us. We must be able to take that extra step.

Weightloss the Greek way

Ever wonder how Plato kept so fit and trim? Ever wish you could have Michael Jackson's slim and taunt torso.

Well this is the diet plan for you.

And here we are again

Once again another weekend is about to dawn on a lonely WordBearer. I am still too much of a chicken to ask out a woman. There are several that I find interesting but my severe fear of them hampers any effort. This is one of the flaws in my nature: I can not talk to women.

My friends find it inexplicable. I will do just about anything. I am braver than most, but when it comes to women I become a little wuss. Ah my ego is so fragile. Low self-esteem doesn't help either.

I need to get on one of those shows where gay guys show up at your house and make you over.

Failure thy stench clings to me.

Oh yeah read Ann Coulter's Oscar Picks.

I will get mine up in the next couple of days.

To everyone who visits me on a day to day basis I want to say thank you. I am humbled that you find my little corner of the Web worth your time. I love all of you...I wish I could quit you (tear).

Books that have changed my life

I thought I would enlighten all of you by enumerating the books that have changed my life. This is not a compressive list, but I think it is a nice peak into the psyche of the WordBearer.

1. The Republic - Plato's most famous work has led to many sleepless nights for me. It is full of so many mysteries and questions that it still puzzles me to this day.

2. Dune- Frank Herbert's greatest work tackles questions of politics, ecology, and religion with such a deft and entertaining hand that one can not help but be sucked in. The entire series is solid. Perhaps the best science fiction series ever written. Beware of the spice.

3. The Lord of the Rings - J.R.R. Tolkien's adventure is a pure masterpiece. Need I say more.

4. Death in the Long Grass - Peter Capstick paints a vivid portrait of big game hunting in Africa. This book created a longing to strap on a rifle and pursue the Cape Buffalo, Hippo, and lion through the primordial wilds of the dark contient. Africa calls me in a manner that no other place could.

5. Ronald Reagan and the Politics of Freedom - This is a must have for any lover of Reagan. In this little tome (only 246 pages) is filled with every thing you need to defend the Reagan record from the howling animals on the Left.

6. Reagan's War - This book chronicles Reagan's forty year struggle, and eventual victory, over Communism. Peter Schweizer illustrates the phenomenal spirit that Reagan possessed, and his utter conviction that America would win the Cold War. Additionally, the documentary based on the book, In the Face of Evil, is mandatory viewing for any Reagan lover.

7. The Illiad and Odyssey - The foundations of Western literature. Must read for anyone put there.

8. The Aeneid - Virgil's propaganda poem about the wanderings of the Trojan warrior Aeneas taught me a lot. It gave me a new respect for Roman literature.

9. The Complete Works of Aristophanes - The Greek comic playwright who is a must read for anyone interested in classical theater or political thought. You can not understand Plato till you understand Aristophanes.

There are many more, but these will do for now. I will add some more later perhaps.

Brits love blow...

...just as much as we do.

Sky News is reporting that the use of cocaine among Britians is reaching the same level as the United States.

Cocaine, also known as blow, nose candy, Bolivian Marching Powder, California cornflakes, booger sugar, Lucifer's Left Nostril, Guatemalan gunpowder, Peruvian salt, Showbiz Sherbert, Kennedy Coffee, Shnazzle, Columbian Dancing Dust, Toot, Lady C, or Chinese Sky Candy, is becoming as popular as cannabis among the British.

Sarin, Ricin, Whisky?

A Scottish distillery is reviving an ancient recipe for a quadruple-distilled whisky.

Supposedly more than two tablespoons full of the 92-proof concoction can kill a man. I don't know about you but I want some.

The United States Secret Service has admitted to monitoring the installation because there is only a slight difference between distilling whisky and making chemical weapons.

Maybe this is why the Europeans have been so good at making chemical weapons, especially the Russians who have the largest stockpile of the munitions. Our severe alcohol dependency gave us all the equipment necessary and enough vicious hangovers to make such an idea plausible.

One day we will all be minding our own business and bam, some Scottish terrorist will unleash a cloud of whisky onto a major city, killing thousands and making millions more hug total strangers.

Race baiting on display

Panders, poverty pimps, and Black Socialists descended on the fair city of Houston this week to do what they do best: attack Bush and Republicans.

Louis FarraCon claimed that: "Condoleezza Rice doesn't speak for us. She speaks for Halliburton and George W. Bush."

This is typical of his type. They all make the claim that any African-American who does not agree with them is an outsider.

Isn't it conceivable Mr FarraCon that there could be black Americans who agree with Condi? You do not have a monopoly on the black consciousness sir. To bad he has the Dims ear.

By request...

...I shall continue elaborating on the exploits of the man, the myth, the man every woman (and man) wants to be with: Dick Cheney

Dick Cheney uses Icy Hott as a personal lubricant

When Dick Cheney is around Cheerios are a lot less cheery

All Toughman Contests were cancelled after Cheney stopped the eruption of a volcano with his tongue

Dick Cheney was banned from the Big Brothers program for hazing

Dick Cheney invented the technique of water boarding while studying for the seminary

He once pimpslapped the Aurora Borealis

He once found six missing Argentinean soccer players in his navel

The entire script for Cats was inspired by Cheney's suggestions in a Suggestion Box at an Arby's in Tucson

He played two seasons in the NFL will setting scoring records in the WNBA

Dick Cheney's dandruff can be used to insulate spacecraft

The last thing J. R.R. Tolkien ever wrote was "Dick Cheney is the Lord of the Rings"

He pays his hospital bills with the pelts of rabbits he kills with a toothpick

Dick Cheney drinks his coffee from the gilded skull of Walt Disney

Robert Downey Jr turned to heroin after Dick Cheney refused to molest him

His ruminations about the nature of the Universe were converted into the television show Xena: Warrior Princess

Dick Cheney's stress tests involve a treadmill, eighty pounds of raw human flesh, and four stout men

Sweden and the rise of FemiFascism

Stanley Kurtz over at the National Review has an eye-opening look into the future that we all face at the hands of the radical feminists.

The Swedes, after legalizing gay marriage, are now trying to install a system of gender-neutral institutions that allow multiple partner unions. This is insane.

Sweden is now the frontline for the death of Western Civilization.

It is all the fault of a radical gang of Feminists who have a vision, not of equality for everyone, but of a world devoid of men.

Stanley is right on the money with his assessment of the gay marriage issue. It is mainly the cause of a bunch of radical left-wingers who want to destroy marriage altogether. Marxist theory calls for the end of the burgesses family and they seek to surreptitiously accomplish his goals.

Democracy may be coming to Uganda

There may be a new 'Spring' on the African continent.

The President of Uganda, Yoweri Museveni, who amended the national Constitution so he could run for a third term, may not secure the majority he needs.

Yoweri Museveni has ruled the country for 20 years, and this is the first multi-party election in 26 years.

His campaign has employed thuggish tactics worthy of the most repressive Middle Eastern or Soviet autocrat.

If he does manage to gain the presidency through fraud and intimidation, perhaps an African version of the Ukrainian Orange Revolution I think this would be a positive development for a continent that has spent to much time under the jackboot of poverty, Socialism, and war.

Charles Krauthammer on QuailGate

Charles Krauthammer's column on Quailgate and the fits of hysteria that the media went into is worth a read.

I think that Cheney handled the situation well. I have spent time in that part of the country, and I am a quail hunter, so I think I understand the situation better than most. South Texas is a lot different from New York or D.C. Hunting and the risks associated with it are better understood down here.

The media's charges of malfeasant are totally off-base. Cheney had nothing to hide here. This is just a bunch of pencilnecked little nancy-boys from the Northeast going into fits over Big Bad Cheney and his patridge popper.

The MSM has been looking for a reason to go after Cheney for a while. The Scotter Libby thing has fizzled for the time being and the Energy Committee is ancient history.

This story will go away now that the media has gotten their chance to vent their spleens.

As long as they keep making them

I will keep posting them

Since this gets me a lot of hits

I have noticed that people seem to respond more to personal issues than to news stories. I theorize that this is due to the natural human inclination to relate to one another. We all wish to find that common thread that unites us.

Ok here is a question to pose: What do women really want? I have been given contradictary information. Some tell me that they like bad boys and that the worse you treat them the more they love you. I have also been told that they like sweet nice guys. Yet the nice guys always seem to lose out.

Well ladies (and gentlemen) lets hear it.

If I could not be the WordBearer

I would want to be William F. Buckley Jr.

Is Europe going 'wobbly'

The Washington Times thinks so.

For all of you who think politicians are whores

Here is your proof.

Just a Rant

I just saw a Planned Parenthood commercial.

The tagline was "A plan you can love with." apparently using the "live" in place of "love" was not appropriate for an organization founded on the principle of murdering the innocent.

They are not even committed to love. The greatest byproduct of love is a child. By denying this they are denying love.

Even I am offended by this.

Wow, someone else is a sick minded as I am.

Oh God, Alito is hiring conservatives

Why is this even a story?

This is about as earthshattering as news that Hitler hired Nazis, or Hillary is hiring Commies, or Teddy Kennedy is hiring pedophiles.

Thank you all

I was noticing that the map is starting to fill. I am getting hits from Europe, Argentina, and alot of traffic from Georgia and Florida. Weird because I do not know anyone in Georgia. Also seem to get traffic from the Plain states. I may end up in Nebraska for law school so that is interesting.

I am honored that yall choose to visit me. I am thankful for all of you.

It is sort of a trip for me. To know that people from all over the world are coming to see the things I post at 2 in the morning in my Superman underwear.

Quite an ego trip for an ugly little guy like me.

Keep coming back my friends, and please if you have something to say, say it.

Well I am going to bed. I need rest...tomorrow I make a move on a special little lady.

Cheney's shotgun wedding...

...is being covered over at Blame Bush.

Cartoon Rage Continues in Pakistan....Fast food the real victim

Protesters rampaged through two Pakistani cities destroying a KFC and a Pizza Hut.

Casualties included a Family sized bucket of chicken and an extra large pizza with the works.

"It was terrible. There were individual sized cartons of potato wedges and mashed potato powder all over the street" reported local witness Shari Gholum. "The police tried to subdue the protesters with firehoses but the water reacted with the mashed potatoes. The street was swimming in Idaho spuds."

Unconfirmed reports state that the authorities disbursed the mob by peppering them with piping hot biscuits.

Valentine's Day Ideas

Well here we are. Yet another Valentine's Day is upon us. So it has come to this.

Ah Valentine's Day, or as I call it: "The day I drink until all my other single friends are standing over me asking 'You ok buddy'."

Recently, after going down in flames more times than a Japanese pilot in 1944, I decided to get some suggestions from the Peanut Gallery about romantic things to do on this hallowed holiday.

P.S. None of that "It is just a day made up by corporate America to sell cards and candy" crap. By saying that you immediately declare that you are a loser and will be spending the day watching Friends re-runs and mainlining Ben & Jerry's.

Dick Cheney has shot a guy

In an apparent hunting accident, Dick Cheney shot and injured a fellow hunter.

This isn't the first person he has gunned down, and it won't be the last.

When people trumpet China's economic growth

Show them this.

The article has several interesting points. One of which is the development of the Chinese economy. According to the Chinese government, by 2050 China will be 'moderately' developed. This does not jive with the forecasts that China will be the economic powerhouse of the new millennium.

I think that the estimates of China's growth are overly-optimistic. The sole virtue China offers the world is a surplus of cheap labor. That is a commodity that is widely available in other parts of the world such as the Indian subcontinent, Eastern Europe, Africa, and Latin America. Plus China is sitting on a demographic timebomb much like Western Europe. By culling the younger generations they are going to face pressures on the industries that they are now developing. An 80 year old is not very useful in a steel mill.

Give a shout out for your country.

I just put in a tracker that gives me an idea about where some of my hits are coming from, and I am astounded that people from all over the world are coming to my humble little corner of the web.

I just want to say thank you for visiting me. I love you all and I consider you all friends.

If you can how about giving a little "shout out" to let me know where you are from.

VDH has a great column...

on the peril that we now face.

His attack on our multicultural assumptions is a classic.

Brokeback to the Future

What, you thought I wouldn't find this?

I know this is sad...

...and it makes more even more of a loser, but why not appeal to a larger audience for advice.

I'm attempting to gain the attention of a very particular young lady. She is extraordinarily beautiful and very classy, but I just can't seem to figure out how to make the approach. I'm an ok looking guy, but I just can't figure out an approach.

Any advice from the Peanut Gallery would be appreciated.

The future is body based technology

In the future your body will be used to open doors and turn on lights...just like it does now except more high tech.

Of course now we can finally make "Talk to the Hand" a reality.

Dick Cheney Redux

As many of you know I am enamored with the colossal man who stands athwart history: Dick Cheney. Here is a collection of some more things I have learned about Dick Cheney.

His grip can recharge a car battery.

Dick Cheney is the illegitimate son of John Wayne and a circus elephant.

His nose hairs are used to fix suspension bridges.

Once Dick Cheney drew on an Etch-A-Sketch in a doctor's office. The next day the drawing was found by a scriptwriter and turned into the movie "Porky's"

He channels the spirit of Joseph Stalin... and then kills it over and over and over again.

Once, while in the Middle East, a Muslim radical threw a Molotov Cocktail at him. He caught it, drank the contents then ate the bottle. The next day he had horrible indigestion. It wasn't from the Molotov cocktail, it was because he ate the radical as well.

Instead of chicken wings he eats the wings of DC-10s. His dipping sauce is made of honey and the tears of the proletariat.

His first grade book report on "One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish" won a Pulitzer Prize.

Dick Cheney is mentioned in the Book of Leviticus

He fathered Angelina Jolie's child

Dick Cheney is down with the sickness

They were going to name the Pershing Missile after Dick Cheney but thought it might frighten the Soviets into a nuclear exchange.

He can fry bacon on his inner thigh

Further evidence...

that the Islamic fundamentalists are nothing more than barbarians.

An Iranian court has sentenced an 18 year old girl to death. What was here crime? Killing a man who attempted to rape her.

The girl, and her niece, were in a park with their boyfriends when the animals attacked them. The girls cowardly boyfriends fled during the attack and left their girls at the mercy of the attackers.

Is this the kind of society that Muslims want to build? How come "moderate" Muslims do not condemn this? This is the sort of thing that leads people to think that all the people of the Middle East are barbarians.

I do not personally think that all Muslims are savages, but the ones who seek to kill the innocent are. I think that we are all basically the same, and that more unites humanity than divides it. Moderate Muslims need to stand up.

The Supreme Court Building will burn next

Will Franklin over at Willisms points out this interesting tidbit : There is a depiction of Muhammad in the US Supreme Court Building.

Let the belated rioting begin.

I can't believe I forgot about this. The Supreme Court building is my favorite spot in Washington.

The Ox has an Exclusive

Get over to the Dumb Ox for this exclusive about new Mohammed cartoons about to hit the presses in France.


Looks like this story won't die for a while. Let the embassies burn.

Kind of conflicted. If the Muslims get upset about this one they will burn the French Embassies. Sort of hard for me to get upset about that.

P.S. click on the Crips Ads to keep the Dumb Ox going.

More Sheehanimania

Patrick Hurley's column about the traitor/idiot/commie Cindy Sheehan is worth a read.

I like his idea. Let her speak. Hell give her a microphone.

I want her to tell us about what she thinks about the economy while she sits in Howard Dean's lap.

How about we have Ted Kennedy put his arm around her while she pontificates about how she would handle the terrorists in the Middle East.

Even better, let her be the keynote speaker at the Dim Convention in 2008.

By then the Dims will be onboard with my Shoot Sheehan campaign.

Just can't do it.

As anyone will notice I have not been commenting on the Danish cartoon controversy much. The reason for this is because I am not all that impressesd with what is going on. The cartoon was tame conpared to what is printed in Arab newspapers on a weekly basis.

The Muslim reaction is what anyone should expect from barbarians faced with a threat to their way of thought. It is irrational, childish, counterproductive, and unwarranted.

If you want good coverage go to:

The Dumb Ox

Michelle Malkin

They are doing such a good job I dare attempt to challenge them.

My connection has been slow before

But never slow enough for this.

Perhaps I was a little hasty

When I pronounced Europe dead.

This column from the London Telegraph gives me new hope that the Europeans are finally ready to fight the Muslim animals that threaten Western Civilization.

One can wish.

Theodore Dalrymple: The Doom of the West

Sounds like a line from Lord of the Rings.

Dalrymple has a great column about the problems facing Europe these days. Of course I am getting a little tired of the whole "Europe is going to collapse" thing. Not out of disagreement, but because it is so painfully obvious. The stupid Europeans seem more than willing to go down with their socialist ship so why should we waste more ink on them.

Read it here

Angry Muslims boycott; burn stuff.

Syrian protesters today burned the Danish and Norwegian embassies in Damascus.

I love how this is being painted as a showdown between religion and the press. This is nothing of the sort. The Muslims of the world have every right to boycott, but this is too far. This is an encounter between the press and a bunch of nihilistic thugs who will use any excuse to vent their impotent rage at the West. Religion is just their excuse.

I agree with Voltaire : "To the wicked everything serves as a pretext."

UK NHS wait list is down to six months.

And they consider this progress.

Socialized medicine is such a bad idea and this just proves it. Previously, there had been people waiting over 15 months for an operation. I just wonder how many people have succumbed to their conditions or were just forced to suffer unnecessarily because of the European addiction to socialism.

Peace Corp worker killed in shark attack

For some reason I just find this really funny.


Apparently we do not reach out enough to the aquatic community.

Kylie Minogue is beating Breast Cancer

The Australian singing sensation, and a woman who is hotter than Shakira (there I said it Ox), has won her battle with cancer.

Lets hope the victory is permanent.

Jack Bauer is Sleepless in Seattle

Not really, but this is a great re-edit.

Great Idea

Shoot Sheehan

Disclaimer: The WordBearer in no way endorses violence. All capital punishment must be carried out by the government establishment ordained to do so.


That being said I have a new idea. We all know the filthy traitor that is Cindy Sheehan. Just last week she was in Venezuela to hobnob with the anti-American Communist dictator Hugo Chavez.

Chavez is currently working with Islamic terrorists and the terror sponsoring state of Cuba.

therefore by meeting with our enemy and providing him with "aid and comfort," Cindy Sheehan has committed treason. If anyone had done this in WW2 they would have been shot.

I declare Cindy Sheehan a traitor and demand that she be shot. She has endangered the lives of Americans and is a threat to national security.

A School Board out of control

A group of religious leaders in the Texas town of Port Arthur have called for a general student strike starting Friday to protest abuses by the school board.

This issue is close to my heart because I grew up in Port Arthur. I did not attend PAISD, but I am aware of it problems.

Let me explain. Port Arthur is heavily minority and its politics have always been tainted by the specter of racial accusations. The school board does waste alot of money, and it should be rich considering all the chemical plants in its tax district, but it also other problems.

The district is heavy on administrators for one thing. It also is forced to pay higher salaries to its teachers due to the dangerous nature of its schools. PAISD has been failing its students for along time and it has finally come to a head.

Kerry Kontinues to Krack.

According to John Feinstein Kerry, unbeknownst to anyone observing, 53% of America's children are not graduating from high school.

Additionally 90% of the elderly subsist off their own waste and 50% of Blacks are still slaves in Virginia.


I love it when an Upper-East coast patrician reveals how out of touch he really is.

State of the Union blogging

Go to the Corner of the National Review for full SofU blogging.


The Dims acted like jackasses on the Social Security issue.

Dims and Commies to be obnoxious

How is that any different from any other day? Well they are going to stand outside the SofU address tonight and bang pots.

I hear some of them got confused and brought their bongs.

Just a reminder...

Just remember I love all of you. From Dan Wesson to the lovely anonymous I feel proud that you took some small amount of time out of your day to visit my humble little corner of the web. I hope that you learn something and perhaps have a little laugh along the way.

Be sure to visit me as well at the Dumb Ox


Long live the Blogsphere.

And now kiddies a special word from Sen. Kennedy

We didn't listen.

Buy Danish and pimpslap Muslim radicals

Pimpslap is a new favorite word of mine.

As many of you will now know there is a Muslim boycott of Danish products because of an silly cartoon in a newspaper.

Therefore I encourage all of the loyal fans of the Ring to Buy Danish. Support the Danes against the extremists.

European Union pimpslaps Hamas run PA

Angela Merkel, in a visit to Israel, has announced that the Europeans are considering cutting aid to the murderous terrorist group Hamas.

My thoughts on the Hamas victory are that this is the best thing that could happen to the Middle East Peace process. Now before you jump on me hear me out.

First of all, now the Palestinian government can no longer deny that it has no control of the suicide bombers. Hamas runs the suicide bombing business. If they do not crack down on their followers then they will become even more unpopular with Western governments.

Secondly, Hamas will most likely bring down even more pain on the Palestinian people and cause them more misery. Some are claiming that this is a failure for democracy. This can not be farther from the truth. Hitler was democratically elected, but that does not constitute the failure of democracy. The Nazis brought such destruction down on the German people that they have not elected a leader like Hitler since. This is probably what will happen to this time around as well.

Last of all we are seeing the death of Hamas as we know it. If it cracks down on its followers they will leave it for other organizations that are less dangerous and easier to exterminate. This could possibly even brew a serious revolt against Hamas and a war within the Islamic terror groups.

Hamas will kill itself in power one way or the other.

John F. Kerry to Filibuster Alito

And the tyranny of the minority rolls on.

Newsweek: Only Red-State men are evil homophobes

According to Newsweek, Brokeback Mountain is a hit with Red-State women.

Does this suprise anyone? The movie combines two things women love: gay guys and hunky young men.

Of course many of them are complaining that they cannot seem to get their husbands to go see this film where two straight actors looking for awards take on roles where they run the serious risk of being called brave.

Will the WordBearer see this film? Nope. Not because I am homophobic, but because I do not like chick-flicks. Even the allure of a naked Anne Hathaway coud not lure me into a theater showing Brokeback Mountain.

I still see this movie, no matter what the directors and actors say, as a way to push a certain lifestyle on the American people.

It does not suprise me that it is winning awards. Hollywood always wants to pretend it is standing up for the oppressed.

Want to make a good movie about modern day discrimination, bigotry, and persecution? Make one about what it is like to be a young conservative on an American campus.

Word of advice, if you want to get men to see a movie about a tragic gay love affair, the protagonists better be women. How about a lesbian cowgirl movie? We could call it "Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?"

Seriously, how many women would agree to go see such a movie with their husbands?

Michael Moore: "Oh great now Canada sucks too"

Michael Moore has ceased cramming his word hole with pies, cakes, and small animals long enough to tell the people of Canada how they should vote.


The idiocy of this man continues to astound me.

Billboarding Castro

I would rather be waterboarding him, but this will do in the meantime.

A new venture

I have decided to create a new venture. Those of you who visit this site and The Dumb Ox are perfectly aware of my Rightward lean.

Well I am also a strong supporter of the embattled Tom Delay.

In honor of this great man I have set up a blog exclusively for Delay content.

You can visit "Delay the Left" by clicking on the link at on the left.

How could we let Alito through

...when we know this?

Dick Cheney = Bill Brasky

Perhaps. Considering all the outlandish claims the Left makes about Cheney on a daily basis, I think that perhaps he is superhuman. Then I realized that he was. Here are some of the things I know about Cheney:


He eats kittens during Passover

I once saw him suckerpunch Ryan Seacrest

He urinates Fresca

Cheney was the original frontman for "Flock of Seagulls"

Dick Cheney was baptized by a one-eyed mule

The sight of Cheney's naked torso inspired the movie "Jurrassic Park"

His leg hairs are used to construct the International Space Station

They say the video game Mortal Kombat was based on Cheney singing in the shower

Dick Cheney broke Brokeback Mountain

His cigarettes are rolled from a combination of human skin and seaweed

Cheney invented the term "bull market" while on vacation in Tijuana

He ate Gilbert Grape

Once Cheney got drunk and while wandering down the street was hit by a bus. Everyone on the bus died. Cheney did not even have a hangover the next day.

Pakistan named a tank after him.

He sank the Love Boat

I hear they based the plot of Pulp Fiction on Cheney's answers to a Rorshack Test

He rides to work in a carriage pulled by zebras

Cheney shot the sherriff...and the deputy

He wrote a response to Jimmy Hendrix called "Excuse me while I punch the Sky"

His nipples are worshipped in Togo

This has happened to me six, seven times maybe

Hat tip National Review.

One minute you are just clowning around with your friends, the next your junk is stuck in a mousetrap. Who hasn't seen that situation played out.

And now for a journey into the mind of Bill Clinton

Don't quite know what to say about this

OBL not on dialysis

Hope the myth will die because of this. Of course to me it is erroneous anyway, he died four years ago.

Once we finish picking through Tora Bora we will find his remains and put an end to the "we still haven't found Bin Laden" tirade from the Left. Even if we caught him alive ACLU lawyers would be lining up to defend him in court and Howard Dean would be worried that we might torture him.