Monday, July 31, 2006

So it has come to this II

Finally the Western Left has reached the point where it feels it can be honest with what it believes.

In the UK, the revised version of the core aims of the National curriculum will no longer require that schools teach children the difference between right and wrong.

Children will now be taught to reject absolute values in exchange for "secure values and beliefs."

Allso removed were sections on promoting leadership and teaching the cultural heritage of Britain.

The teachers are claiming that they have always taught right from wrong, which is a lie, and that the change is not important...again another lie.

A spokesman for the QCA also said that the wordings of the new curriculum "identifies the need for young people who challenge injustice, are committed to human rights and strive to live peaceably with others."

This goal is incompatible with the teaching of relativism. How can a young person challenge injustice if they do not possess a concept of right versus wrong? How can you have a justice system without the idea that there are some acts that are prohibited?

The pandering of relativistic garbage to children is sick. They want children to develop a sense of their place in the world. This reeks of thought control. They want to produce the socialist society with a place for everyone and everyone in their place. This is completely at odds with reality. They want to replicate the society of old with themselves as the new nobles.

It is a cliche to say that we are a "government of laws not of men." This is unfeasible if right vs. wrong is obliterated. How can you have a society of laws if every man can make his own determination of right versus wrong? Without a consensus on this issue the rule of law is untenable.

Without such consensus we descend into a Hobbiesian world in which every man is his own judge.

It has finally arrived folks. I bet we will see something like this in writing here in the US before the end of the decade.

Saturday, July 29, 2006

Kalashikovs and Cupcakes

Christina Lamb's weblog over at the UK Times puts forth an interesting question:

If you can get $10 a day fighting for the Taliban and $20 a month as a policeman
what would you choose?

The answer I am sure she expects is "Hey I will fight for the Taliban." The nature of the question is idiotic and misguided. It is based on a false assumption about the nature of man. The answer she expects is posited on the assumption that people weigh allegiances on a purely economic cost/value scale. This is an unwarranted assumption.

The idea of right versus wrong or good versus evil does not play into her piece at all. Her question is similar to asking "$30,000 dollars a year as a cop or $60,000 a week as a drug smuggler, what would you choose?"

The answer is quite clear to me. She completely overlooks the fact that there is honor in one. By phrasing the question in the manner in which she did, she makes it seem as if either choice is as equally valid as the other.

Of course I am sure that is how she meant it. Modern day ethics tells us that there is not such thing as an objectively good or bad choice. All choices are inherently equal. It goes back to Weber's (may he burn in hell) fact/value distinction. The problem with this is that it ignores the fact that values can be facts and facts can be values.

People fight for reasons that are not connected to economic gain.

John Keegan, the greatest military historian of modernity, put it this way:

The graphic depiction of the reality of legionary warfare, in which the
unvarying daily order of the camp...could be suddenly interrupted by
confrontation with a yelling crowd of unshaven and unkempt strangers, reeking of
dirt and fear and sweating with the intense exertion of muscle-power warfare,
conveys withou the need for further demonstration that the Roman professional
soldier did not serve for the monetary rewards enlistment brought him. his
values were those by which his fellows in the modern age continue to live: pride
in a distinctive (and distinctly masculine) way of life, concern to enjoy the
the good opinion of comrades, satifaction in the largely symbolic tokens of
professional success, hopes of promotion, expectation of a comfortable and
honourable retirement.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

The numbers do not lie

In my email today I found a pearl among the garbage.

Dan Wesson, a true friend and Dictator for Life of the Friendzone, sent me this.

It is a complete list of political contributions made by celebs.

Of course there is very little earthshatering information here. Most of the contributions went to Dims. One thing I did notice was that country music stars tended to give heavily to Republicans.

Some other interesting tidbits: Heather Locklear has only given to Republicans, as has Chuck Norris. Maury Povich gave $2,000 to President Bush in 2004. Kevin Sorbo, Hercules to you mere mortals, also gave to Republicans. Alex Trebek, with his Dago mustache and greasy hair, cut checks to Republicans as well.

This list makes you a fully informed consumer. Now you can verify what you have only suspected. Choose your movies and music well folks.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

You have to admire his bravado

A Scottish man has plead guilty to living off the proceeds of prostitution.

He originally claimed his brothel was a center for disabled kids. He claimed that the poles were there for disabled people and that the mirrors on the ceilings were decorative.

I find this guys line of work exploitive and immoral, but I admire his bravado.

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Pet peeve: emo kids

Ok watch this video and laugh.

Emo kids get on my nerves big time. I had one in a class in college that annoyed the hell out of me. He was a total crying pussy who believed that there was no reason ever to fight for anything. His reasoning was "violence has never solved a problem." After I produced a list of problems that violence has solved he claimed that I was misinterpreting the world.

Once I overheard a group of emo kids, who all seemed to be dressed alike, talking about how everyone else was a conformist.

These people give those of us who are actually seeking introspection a bad name.

I don't like to stereotype because everyone who stereotypes is a cockface, but all emo guys are gay and all emo chicks are lesbos.

Listen and listen good: Life does suck at times, but it also great at times. You need to take the good with the bad. It is ok to discuss the bad, but if you get hung up on it you will be short changing yourself. Happiness is often found in the little things.

Friday, July 21, 2006

I will see your shame and raise you self-loathing

I can completely relate to this article on the precarious nature of the modern dating scene.

I can relate to being blown off in text messages and emails. I have had a bad internet date. I have never been the accomplice to infidelity so I have one up on this guy. He is right though. The whole scene has become predatory. Lots of women seem out for blood these days. I have hunted mountain lions that are more merciful than modern day ladies.

It seems that in the war of the sexes, women have gone nuclear.

In fact this article gives me hope. I am better looking than this guy. My problem is that I can not approach a woman. I would think I am a pretty good catch. I am in law school, can cook very well, am free of all major diseases, have a budding political career, and know how to treat women.

Every time I am out I see lots of ladies I find attractive. I am just unsure how to approach them.
Ladies riddle me this: How should I approach a woman I find attractive without looking like some sort of slimeball?

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

My sentiments exactly

John Derbyshire on the Middle East.

He is of course right: "We can't ignore the damn loathsome filthy accursed place."

I wish we could. That is the only reason that I support less dependence on Mid-East oil. I don't give a damn about the environment, I just hate having to depend on the Arabs for our energy. I would love to let the savages in the Middle East tear each other apart. If we did not have to worry about the hurt feelings of the Arabs we could turn the Israelis loose to purge the Middle East of the barbarians.

I am tired of being told what the Arab street thinks. They are nothing more than illiterate animals and perverts who want to kill Westerners to avenge Muslim defeats that occurred hundreds of years ago.

Chris Bell: a giant idiot

Check out this new commercial for Texas Dimocratic gubernatorial candidate Chris Bell.

Freaky huh?

The gall of this man, putting his arm around Sam Houston.

I hear the next ad will have Chris Bell battling MechaGodzilla in the middle of Houston.

I love the part of the commercial where Bell suggests that we should be "preparing our kids for college, not to take standardized tests." I seem to remember having to take a standardized test to get into college.

I hate the whole "teaching to the test" screed that teachers and administrators cry about. Isn't every teacher "teaching to the test" at some point?

The tests are not arbitrary. They are meant to ensure that kids are learning basic skills in math, reading, and science. If teachers are teaching to the test are they not just teaching basic skills?

That one line shows right where the loyalties of Chris Bell lie. He is obviously in the pocket of the socialist teacher's union.

The teachers oppose these test for two reasons. First of all they expose how incompetent they are. If they are not teaching children basic skills in math and reading the test will show it. The second reason is that the tests are objective measures. The Lefty ideology of the teacher's groups hates the idea of objective standards. They want to teach children to feel and express themselves because they can never be wrong there. They fear Truth and objectivity because both expose deficiency. To do such a thing would harm the "self esteem" of teachers and students and make them feel bad.

We need to destroy the public school system and rebuild it from the ground up. That may sound harsh but I am like the doctor who saw the disease and was brave enough to prescribe poison.

What we are fighting

Photo from Reuters

This photo was snapped outside the Israeli consulate in New York.

Notice the sign in the background. It says "Islam will Dominate" and has a picture of the White House with a Muslim flag flying over it.

Also note the swastika inside the Star of David on the poster in the foreground. These people are not in the Middle East. These are people living on the east side. These are Americans or at least immigrants.

Just think about it: Islam will dominate. Islam will dominate.

Do you want that to happen?

This war is not about Muslim poverty, Palestinian rights, or the War on Terror. It is about a bunch on 7th century perverts trying to assuage their thousand year old humiliation by the West. I await the voice of moderate Muslims to silence these people, but I am beginning to suspect that all adherents of Islam are nothing more than mindless savages.

Islam will Dominate.

Sunday, July 16, 2006

The Dims might begin to "argue about whether it’s time to argue about important arguments"

Jonah Goldberg examines the motivations behind the anti-Lieberman hysteria and also touches on the general lack of ideas on the Left.

He makes some good points but nothing ground breaking. We all know that the only thing that keeps the Left/Far Left/Communist Big Tent together is a deep love of hating George W. Bush and Republicans in general.

Dim voters show up to the polls simply to prove that they are opposed to the War on Terror, hate Republicans, and are still committed to the class war. That about sums up the Dim agenda.

I have always disagreed with the assertion that the Left does not have any ideas. They have plenty of ideas. The problem is that their ideas are so unpalatable to the American people that they have to describe them in pleasant sounding euphemisms.

Let's catalogue just a small portion of their double speak:

-using the term "right to choose," "reproductive rights," or "women's rights" when they really mean abortion. If their is nothing wrong with abortion why do the Dims so rarely use the word? They like to use the word "rights" because no one wants to be seen opposing rights.

-using the term "social justice" as a catchphrase for stoking envy, playing the race card, bullying private concerns, and attacking anyone who does not subscribe to their radical ideology.

-using terms such as "opposing imperialism" to give a pass to savages around the world when they commit horrendous acts.

We all know what they want to do anyway.

The Dims want the following:

-to kill as many babies as possible through abortion. They love abortion for two reasons: 1. They see every abortion performed as a blow for women's rights, and 2. they are committed to a population phobia that manifests itself in a manner that is red in tooth and claw.

-to raise taxes in a childish attempt to get even with those they see as "rich."

-turn America's children over to the hapless bunch of incompetents called teachers because most of the people who go into teaching are too stupid to see through the liberal brainwashing they received in school. They then use the schools as houses of propaganda and brainwashing.

-use the courts to advance a social agenda that is not only unpopular but detrimental to the nation.

-turn American foreign policy over to the tin pot dictators, mullahs, communists, criminals, and fascists over at the UN.

-surrender the initiative in the War on Terror to the barbarian jihadists.

As I have said hundreds of times, the stakes are clear. Either we purge the liberals from our nation or we will witness the collapse of the United States and the West.

Saturday, July 15, 2006

I defy anyone to read this without tears

George Will reflects on the dementia that stole his mothers spirit before taking her life.

It is poetic and beautiful because it is so profoundly human.

In an article full of beauty this quote stood out for me:

"The aging that conquered Louise was, like war, a mighty scourge, and, like war, elicited nobility from those near its vortex. The nearest was Fred Will, who died eight years ago, at the end of his ninth decade. "

Will finishes with the story of his father's struggle with his wife's fading memory. I guess that part effected me because you could genuinely feel the love in the poetry Fred Will wrote his wife.

I want to love and be loved like that.

Good night friends.

Update: It was raining aliens

Back in March I posted this: It's raining men...I mean aliens.

Here is an update on the story.

Well an analysis of mysterious particles found in the samples of "red rain" have revealed some interesting things. Experiments have shown that the DNA-less cell like structures can reproduce even in superheated water.

Scientists suggests that these are some form of super adapted space microbe.

See the WordBearer keeps track of even his most bizarre stories.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Angry rant #131

No links here baby.

I want to rant for a little while about the whole situation in the Middle East. Folks, I am sorry to say this, but we are seeing the beginning of World War III. The Hitler of this war is of course the lovely president of Iran. I think his name is Frank or Steve or something like that. It is obvious to anyone that he is the one provoking all this.

Of course there has been the usual chorus of libs and Dims on TV with the same talking points. They all claim that Iraq has sapped our strength and made us unable to deal with Iran and North Korea. We all know that if the US had attacked Iran rather than Iraq all the libs would be yelling" why did you go after Iran when Saddam is the bigger threat?" Same goes for if we had attacked North Korea.

The simple point is that we are faced with three dangerous foes just like in the 40's. The difference is that our allies lack the spine necessary to take on these threats. The Brits are a sad shadow of their former selves. The French have never been much use in anything more violent than an orderly surrender. The Germans have become nothing more than a loose collection of porn addicts, socialists, and nihilists.

The only way to wake up the sniffling hordes of Europe would be for a nuclear bomb to detonate in one of their cities. Most of them believe that the terrorists have a beef with the US and that they are safely under the radar. This is not true. The rage over the Danish cartoons is proof of their hatred of the West. The jihad will reach the shores of Norway, Ireland, and Brazil eventually. I know Brazil is not in Europe but I guarantee that soon you will see Islamic terror cells cropping up in South America. This war is not about Palestine, the US War on Terror, or poverty in the Middle East. This is about jihad. Our enemies want to make a world wide caliphate.

The stakes are clear people. There is no room for negotiation. The survival of the West is at stake.

The West needs to invade Muslim countries and bring order. We need to go Roman on their asses. If they resist then we destroy every bit of infrastructure, kill all who get in our way, destroy their shrines, and salt the very earth on which they stand. Either we end the war our way or it will be ended for us.

75 simple questions for liberals

Hat tip to KLo at the Corner on this one.

Greg Gutfeld over at the Huffington Post counters Lefty Ellisberg's talking points by proposing 75 of his own. I have culled the best of them and posted them below. For the full list click the link above. Print these out, put them in your pocket, and demand that every liberal you meet answer them.

-Why isn't Air America successful?
- Can you come up with one good thing America has done in its entire history?
-Is manmade lightning burning the ozone hole?
- Can you come up with a single realistic solution for Iraq, other than saying it was a mistake?
-Can you advocate any kind of strategy that counters the absolute threat of terrorism?
- What can Democrats do other than complain (and come up with dumb questions that, in fact, are complaints)?
- Can you admit Al Franken isn't that funny?
- IF 'dissent is patriotic' then why are you guys being so brutal to Joe Lieberman for dissenting from you on Iraq?
- If gay marriage is such a slam dunk civil right, why did you sit on your asses while Clinton AND Gore came up with and signed the Defense of Marriage Act?
- If you take away your anger toward Republicans, is there anything left?
- Can you explain globalization and why it's bad without sounding like a gibbering idiot?
- What's it like taking the bus?
- How many plasma TVs have you purchased over the last 5 years of economic depression?
-Is the US attack on terrorism really just an excuse for racial profiling?
- Do you hate old ladies who say "god bless you" when you sneeze?
- Isn't it amazing how everyone I know thinks all the same things are really, really bad - and isn't it amazing that that coincidence has nothing to do with the uniformity in bias of the news venues you choose to use?
-could you talk to a Marine without secretly knowing he or she knows you're on thin ice?
-Is Al Franken patenting the pubic hair and Elmer's glue cure for baldness, or is he just keeping the idea to himself?
- What's the official reason Cindy Sheehan doesn't HuffPost anymore?
-Is 'progressive' the best euphemism you've got?
-Would you reject any life-saving drug if it was tested on animals?
-How come all of you were suspicious of Arianna when she was a Republican yet think her aspirations now that she's a 'progressive' are based upon deep conviction?
-What's your favorite color of gardener?
- If we all print out Ellisberg's questions how many trees will that kill?
- And aren't trees a defense against global warming? And so why are you trying to kill all of us
-If a tornado hit your home would you blame Bush?
- If your wife blew the pool guy would you blame Bush?
-Do you feel good when bad stuff happens to America? Are you stuck in that horrible little place that prevents you from feeling anything positive about the country you call home?
- Are israeli soldiers more contemptible than terrorists?
-would you care what Alec Baldwin has to blog, if he wasn't Alec Baldwin?
-Like, what if he was Stephen Baldwin?
-Or Daniel Baldwin?
-do you still think Reagan was wrong on the Soviet Union?
- While we harp on the ills of Sen. Joseph McCarthy and the harm he did to America, do we practice McCarthyism on those we disagree with politically?
-How did we come to hate the President of the United States more than Saddam Hussein and bin-Laden?
- Could it be because you can't admit you're very scared about Islamic Extremism and know these guys are dead serious and don't negotiate, and framing a Republican as evil incarnate is easier to grapple with?
-How did we find it better to foment hatred for our own country instead of focusing on fanatics bent on destroying it?
-Could it be possible that your 'all Republicans are stupid or evil' schtick from bumpersticker to watercooler to cocktail chatter causes everyone else to feel very uncomfortable, but they just chalk up your rudeness to a simple mind?
- What the hell did Noam Chomsky do to not be invited to blog for free at the HuffPo?
- Why do Fox newscasters always have great legs?
-And I am not simply refering to Shepard Smith.
-Did you know that satellite imagery reveals that Barbara Boxer is actually a lemur?
- Was the fourth of July just another day that you still can't wear shorts in public?
- how did it come that you have more in common with al zarqawi than Bill Frist?
- Do you really think the troops believe your 'I Support the Troops' mantra?
- do you really think anyone bought your compassion for New Orleans when once the Bush bashing capital was spent - you stopped caring?
-Do you think manipulating the spelling of words so they imply something sinister suggests a level of intelligence only slightly higher than mental retardation?
- Do you still think Robin Williams is funny? Did you ever think Whoopi Goldberg was?
-Do black jeans really go with a tweed sport coat?
- Anyone heard from Tookie lately?
- I keep sending him cookies. Tookie cookies.
- Where are Tookie's kids books on Amazon these days?
-Why aren't my books considered childrens books? Who do I have to kill?
- Where are the lesbians?
- How is the impeachment coming?
-it's 112 degrees in Iraq. That's got to make you happy in some way, right?
-why is it that Robert Novak aged better than Robert Redford?
-why do leftwingers after the age of fifty wear lots of buttons and suspenders?
-do you think JFK would approve of Michael Moore?
-do you think RFK would approve of Teddy Kennedy?
-do you think Teddy Kennedy would approve of reduced fat Pringles?
-how do you feel when all that effort invested in Plame turned out to be the biggest waste of time ever?
-can I have Cindy Sheehan's fishing hat?
-is the Sheehan-type hysteria that defines the left simply a function of Baby Boomers collectively knowing that their progeny have no intention of carrying on their philosophical and political legacy when they (soon) pass?
-or is it just gas?
-what is the worst personal experience you have had in the economically depressed BushCo police state?
-It was that bad taco wasn't it?

"You going to eat Allah that omelet?"

A Kazakh chicken has laid an egg that seems to have the word "Allah" inscribed on it in Arabic.

Local villagers believe that the egg will not rot, unlike muslim civilization.

Jesus was unavailable for comment because he was busy appearing on a pancake in Oklahoma City.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Explain to me why there are no treason charges for this

I was at a Barnes & Noble today, just browsing, and I caught sight of this little tome.

10 Reasons Not to Join the Military

The contributors are people like Cindy Sheehan, or as she is also known, this generations Axis Sally. Of course I am sure that Axis Sally had a fact checker.

I skimmed the book and there were such wonderful chapters like : "You Could Die" and "You Could be Injured".

Lets put these titles under the lens of scrutiny.

First of all, you can die at any time. Not only members of the military die. You can die at home in a car crash. 40,000 Americans die in car crashes every year.

The same is true for injury. I dropped a weight on my foot last night. That could happen anywhere. The point is that these are all stupid reason for not joining the army. They are better reasons for just never leaving bed in the morning.

Why are these people not being tried for treason? Are we so stupid that we can not see the difference between criticism of the government and colluding with the enemy?

The enemies of the US do not want us to have a strong military. They would love to see us pull out of Iraq. If people had written books like this in the 40's Roosevelt would have had them rounded up.

The peace lobby either does not realize the danger posed by Islamic militants or does not care. They are either fantastically stupid or suicidally malicious.

This is not a freedom of speech issue. The Constitution is not a suicide pact. Democracy and toleration are worthless if they mean that a society has to tolerate that which rejects both democracy and toleration. Yet this is the sort of morally relativistic, non-value judgment, self hating tripe that will destroy the US in the end.

On a totally unrelated topic: Why are there so many damn books written about the Cathars and Celts? These two groups are arguably the D students of Western history. The Romans had the right idea when it came to Celts; depopulating Gaul over a ten year period.

I would suggest we adopt this policy toward the modern Gauls, but they are doing a pretty good job on their own.

Sunday, July 09, 2006

Saturday, July 08, 2006

Alec Russell: Lets get patriotic

Alec Russell over at the London Telegraph encourages his fellow Brits to take a page out of America's playbook and become more patriotic.

The problem is not just in Britain. Europe as a whole has lost a sense of its identity. The spirit of Rome and Greece has been extinguished in favor of the spirit of Marx and Nieztsche.

This is the root of the crisis of the West. Those of us who live in the Western world are supposed to feel perpetually guilty about our colonialism, supposed imperialism, and slavery. This is of course insincere. Every civilization has practiced imperialism, slavery, and colonialism.

Listen people, buck up and get some pride.

Friday, July 07, 2006

Op-eds, man I love them

Time for a round up of some of my favorite writers. Take these pieces of wisdom as a gift.

1. Walter Williams asks "Who is to blame" for the low scores of black students in the public education system.

He puts an awful of blame on teachers. I would have placed more. The vast majority of public school teachers are lazy, poorly educated, full of liberal idiocy, and frankly worthless. There are many good ones, but the system they work in confounds any attempts at greatness.

I have little more than contempt for most public educators. They are the clergy of the Church of Liberalism. They do not teach children about truth, but more often teach them about "tolerance", "open mindedness", and other stupid catchphrases that simply hide the truth behind their teachings. I'm tired of teachers being immune from criticism. All we hear about is how underpayed and underappreciated they are. Neither of those are true of course.

To all teachers out there listen up. The time has come to justify your existence. Supporting education does not mean that we have to support you without question. If you don't like the pay, get another job.

If yall are doing such a bang up job why do American children's scores decline after spending time in the public school system?

American preschoolers start school with high IQs and in the 4th grade perform better than the children of all countries except Japan and South Korea. The more time they spend in the public school system the lower their scores become.

The greatest criminals in history have been teachers.

2. Thomas Sowell meanders along a similar path.

3. Denis Boyles takes on the poll cited below.

He makes a good point. Why should we care? The Brits, along with the rest of Europe, are poorly educated and he claims Britain is on the verge of being without an educated elite.

4. Jay Nordlinger's wide ranging Impromptus column should be regularly read by all of you.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Everyone hates the good guy

A poll of Brits finds that they are tired of the cruel, vulgar, and imperilstic United States.

Why do we care? When did the US start trying to win populatrity contests? Are we supposed to change our ways because Malcolm Donner of south London thinks we need to be nicer to Arabs and meaner to Jews?

I really do not blame the Brits. To those who do not know, the alternative media has a smaller following in the UK. I read alot of British newspapers and follow both the BBC and Sky news. The information they receive is by and large anti-American.

My experience with Europeans has taught me an awful lot of things. Most of all they know many things that simply are not true. They think racism and poverty are rampant in the US. They see the US as a society of half-educated hillbillies who refuse to see their singular genius. My experiences have also shown me that Europeans tend to be greatly misinformed about the world. They buy the "Peace at any price" and "Negotiate at all cost" arguments as if they were gospel. They seem to have forgotten their former selves and turned their lives over to socialism, the most profound expression of Eastern despotism aside from Islam.

This makes me rethink my love of the British people. I am a huge Anglophile and see the UK as the best friend that America could have. Now I am not so sure.

Chistopher Hitchens wants to know why we really care what the world thinks.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Libs heading north

Turns out large numbers of libs are fleeing to Canada to avoid "that man Bush."

If they want to go hang around with a bunch of pasty, Ann-Murray loving, gay marriage accepting, Shatner-countrymen then go ahead.

Monday, July 03, 2006

Hollywood fasts, Four-Star restaurants take hit

Joining the homely matron of surrender Cindy Sheehan, several Hollywood celebs are going to go on hunger strikes to protest the war in Iraq.

How pompous can these people get? Do they really think that missing a few meals will bring the troops home? This is just an idiotic publicity stunt. Isn't a big part of the Hollywood lifestyle predicated on not eating?

All you celebs need to listen right now. We do not care how you feel about the war, environment, AIDS, gay marriage, or guns. All you are paid to do is pretend to be people who matter. You are not Gandhi, Mother Teresa, or any other sort of martyr. Just go back to your mansion and enjoy your terror free day courtesy of the Bush administration and America's fighting men and women.

Sunday, July 02, 2006

My nightmares are filled with images of Dick Cheney

He is fear incarnate. Death follows with him where ever he goes. The ground he walks on cracks asunder and nature itself abhors his presence. It is all because:

Dick Cheney won an Oscar after he filmed his own circumcision

His navel doubles as a modem

He was the first person ever described as "armed and dangerous"

Only Dick Cheney knows the horrible secret behind "Sweaten to the Oldies"

Do you know why the Leaning Tower of Pisa tilts to the right? Because Dick Cheney built it

He once got a colonic of sulfuric acid and Butterscotch ice cream

His favorite cocktail is the Salty Dog...made with a real dog

His first words were "Roosevelt is a commie"

Dick Cheney invented the concept of VoiceMail when he ripped out the larynx of a communist and overnighted it to Larry King

He has a standing appointment at a Washington salon to get his nails done and his spines ground down

After meeting the Verizon spokesman Dick Cheney tore off his ears, ate them, then asked "Can you fear me now?"

The sight of his bare feet drove Hunter Thompson to end his life

"Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas" was inspired by accounts of Dick Cheney's first birthday party

He had his first heart attack in Kindergarten

Dim party is just like a smoothie...

...full of fruits, but may be bad for you.

Actually the story is about the hazards of fruit smoothies, but I could not resist the joke.

Hey I am weak.

Your humble WordBearer does not go in for all this health food stuff. I know many of you, I'm looking in your direction Ox, are into that tofu, fauxfu, organic hippie crap. Give me some good old fashioned genetically altered, pesticide soaked, omnivorous corn to your fairy tomatoes that will lower your testosterone. It starts with organic strawberries and ends with you and your life partner strapping on your fanny packs and going out to buy a Chinese Crested.

Once I did go to one of those smoothie places. Here is dramatization of that event.

Cute Juice Girl: "Would you like to try our new Pina Colada flavored smoothie sir?"

WordBearer: "How much rum is in it?"

Cute Juice Girl: "None, it is healthy and will help you live longer."

WordBearer: "No thanks then, I'm going the other way on that."

Hey at least I did not ask her : "Do you come with the drink?"

Go about your day with happiness my friends.

More knife silliness in Britain

Record numbers found carrying knives in Britain.

As usual the pussy anti-weapons/masculinity/self responsibility groups are demanding mandatory minimum sentences for carrying a blade.

Perhaps the reason people feel compelled to go armed is linked to Labour's inability to combat crime?

See my previous posts here and here for further information.