'Hippie' chimp to become extinct

The so called 'hippie' chimp is hurtling toward extinction.

The species derived its nickname by from its propensity to solve problems with sex, smoke alot of weed, flee to Canada at the first sign of danger, and devour its own dung.

I, for one, applaud this turn of events. Now that hippies are all but extinct on Earth, I feel that it is time we get rid of the animals that followed them down the road to perdition.

I call for the eradication of the Hippie snaildarter, Crunchy Brazilian crab, Che-tshirt wearing impala, and all the seagulls who circle the Grateful Dead concerts.

The possibility for a hippie free world is upon us. We must be able to take that extra step.