Monday, May 22, 2006

...and Dick Cheney shall lead them

It has been awhile since I, your humble WordBearer, have extolled the virtues of Dick Cheney.

Now we revisit the exploits of this demigod.

After a disasterous 2006 election, President Bush will be impeached and removed from office. Dick Cheney will become President. In a related story all newspaper reporters will commit suicide.

Dick Cheney will win the 2008 Republican primary. Pundits will attribute it to his promises to lower taxes, fight crime, and to refrain from blocking out the sun.

Madeline Albright goes missing after she accepts Cheney's invitation to go fishing

Dick Cheney's popularity increases after he opens fire on an Oscar Meyer WienerMobile

Cheney went to see the play "Pygmalion" in anticipation of devouring the protagonist

The original title of the popular relationship book "Women are from Venus; Men are from Mars" was originally titled "Women are from Venus; Men are from Mars; and Dick Cheney Will Kill them All"

Area 51 is also known as "Cheney's Playland"

He pierced his tongue with a rusty machete

Quebec once surrendered to Dick Cheney

Once a soda machine was out of the drink he wanted. He shot it twelve times.

The song "Killer Queen" was based on Dick Cheney's crossdressing phase