Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Happy Birthday Mr. Vice-President

Happy Birthday Dick Cheney!!!

It is times like this that make me reflect on why Dick Cheney is the greatest human being ever to live.

It is because all of these are true:

All tsunamis can be linked to Dick Cheney eating Indian food.

His favorite color is Fear.

The Chinese calendar includes a "Year of the Dick Cheney." Its symbol is Dick Cheney eating the last known Dodo bird.

He has three testicles and they are all registered to vote.

Dick Cheney's favorite childhood toy was the skull of Che Gueverra

While in Africa he ate an entire herd of elephants then gave everyone in the Congo AIDS.

His elementary school talent show act involved him waterboarding a Kindergartener. He got first place and the Presidential Medal of Freedom.

He invented the telegram and used it to send threatening messages to President Lincoln.

He once shanked the Prime minister of Ireland.

He can eat coal and crap Neil Diamond.

All Roadrunner cartoons are loosely based on his experiences as a child star.