Saturday, November 04, 2006

Cheney...We are at your mercy

Dick Cheney: man, myth, future tyrant of man.

Why do we fear him?

Because the following are true...

He once released a book on the subject of potty training. It came with an "encourament tazer."

The song "Unchained Melody" was originally called "UnCheney Melody." It was changed because people were disturbed by sound of women weeping and children being immolated.

He once stabbed a man for using the wrong fork at dinner.

His thoughts on the proper application of the death penalty were made into the movie "Flash Dance."

John Denver wrote "Rocky Mountain High" after watching Dick Cheney ingest thirty tons of opium.

Dick Cheney is in the bushes outside your house right now.

In first grade he was suspended for waterboarding his teacher. He received the Pulitzer Prize for the photos.

Every Thanksgiving he deep fries a California Condor...then just throws it out.

The entire plot for the Harry Potter series is based off of the orgasmic screams of Dick Cheney.

Dick Cheney is responsible for the fall of the Roman Empire, British Empire, and the stock market in 1929.

The Exxon Valdez did not run aground. It was dynamited by Cheney to settle his score with the Eskimos.

Every movie ever made by Stanley Kubrick was inspired by conversations with Cheney in the showers at a NY Bally's Total Fitness.